X-MEN: Apocalypse

The team take on the original mutant in this overstuffed and overblown third instalment to the prequel series. ★★☆☆☆

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Watch The Throne: Game Of Thrones – “The Door” (Season 6 Episode 5)

OK, so, you know when you usually get told that this review is ‘MAJOR SPOILER’? Well this one is M.A.J.O.R  S.P.O.I.L.E.R! Please take heed and watch episode 6 before reading this; any damage done here is irreparable.

As so above. If you were situated on the wrong side of the Atlantic come Monday morning, then the Internet was a dangerous place to be, especially social media, and especially Twitter. There’s only so many times you can see the hashtag #HoldTheDoor before you clutch your face, delete your apps and put your phone on aeroplane mode, but alas, this is what we are dealing with here. It’s one of those ones.

Ep 5 - Sansa Littlefinger

One of those ones starts, as appears as tradition in this series, at Castle Black; it appears that Peter Baelish, aka. Littlefinger (Aidan Gillen), the man of mystery and manipulation, is also capable of time travel, having somehow navigated his way from the Vale of Arryn all the way to the Mole’s Town in an unbelievably speedy manner. He has come, of course to offer his dear Sansa (Sophie Turner) his services but she’s having none of it, and who can blame her. She accuses him of knowing what she was heading to when he delivered her to Ramsay Bolton, and orders him to describe what he thinks Ramsay did to her on their wedding night. She says she ‘can still feel what he did inside of [her]’, and watching Littlefinger squirm uncomfortably makes for rather satisfactory viewing.

It is becoming more and more apparent that Sansa is maturing and taking her own fate out of the hands of men; her recount of her rape it done without a shred of self pity. It seems that she has come to terms with it, and it is one more thing to add fuel to her fire. Littlefinger informs Sansa that her uncle, the Blackfish, has retaken Riverrun and has formed an army, however – for whatever reason – he withholds that he has the Vale’s army in motion. What is his motive here? One can only (tentatively) assume that, in Sansa’s apparent rejection of him, he may use that army for other purposes. We later meet Sansa with Jon, Davos, Melisandre, Tormund, Brienne and Pod as they are planning where to go from here. Sansa lies to them as to her source of where she learned of the Blackfish army. Brienne (Gwendoline Christie) later asks her why, and she doesn’t answer, though she does send Brienne away to meet with her uncle. As they leave Mole’s Town to sway the Northern Houses into joining their cause, it seems that Sansa is intent in doing this on her own terms.

(PS. Tormund’s crush on Brienne is killing me.)

Ep 5 - Brienne Tormund

Over in the Iron Islands, we find the Kingsmoot. Despite Yara (Gemma Whelan) putting up a good case despite the Ironborn’s admonitions of her gender (and Theon’s two cents), she is drowned out by the bravado of their uncle Euron, who confesses to killing Balon and promises the Ironborn that if he is king, he will take their fleet East to Daenerys and marry her so that together they can take Westeros. They like the sound of that of course, and as they are busy inaugurating him (aka. Drowning, because ‘born and born again’ and all that). Yara, Theon (Alfie Allen) and some loyal supporters flee with the fleet of ships. The pesky pair.

Over on the warmer (and dryer) side of things, and Arya (Maisie Williams) is taking a beating again. In all fairness to her though, she is slowly, but surely, putting up a better fight. Jaqen tasks her with assassinating an actress, who just so happens to be in a comedy portraying the death of Robert Baratheon and the beheading of Ned Stark who, in creative liberty, is depicted as an idiot. It evidently touches a nerve.

Having escaped from Vaes Dothrak, Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) finally gives in to Jorah’s (Iain Glen) pursuits and pardons him for being faithful. He responds by confessing love for her (cue squirming by Daario Naharis) as well as revealing his Grey Scale. Dany appears distraught and orders him to obey his queen and to find the cure for his disease. It is all rather touching, and you can’t help but feel for Jorah fulfilling his need to acquire his Queen’s forgiveness.

Ep 5 - Meereen

In Meereen, Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) is assuming his deal with the Masters a success, as in the two weeks since there has been no deaths or action by rebel group Sons Of The Harpy. However, he needs to convince the people that Daenerys is responsible for their newfound peace, so it makes perfect sense for him to recruit the High Priestess of the Lord Of Light to share the word for him. She agrees because Daenerys is evidently the “Chosen One”, just like Stannis. Varys is far more dubious, actually even borderline hostile; he doesn’t trust those who use magic thanks to a sorcerer castrating him as a child. He brands her a “fanatic” yet is rankled to discover she knows his story. The High Priestess agrees to aid them and leaves, and you can’t help but feel that this is all going to go a bit Kingslanding…

Let’s return to the Three Eyed Raven’s tree, and Bran (Isaac Hemptead-Wright) is in a memory. A very, very old one, it turns out. We watch as the Children of the Forest impale a living human man whose body subsequently begins to chill with ice. Is this the birth of the Night’s King? It seems very likely, and with the Children of the Forest having created him to kill humans who were taking over their land, what does this mean for the motives of both they and the Wights? Can the Wights control their urge to purge humanity, or is it their curse to pursue it forever? It’s an unexpected turn of events, and will be interesting to see where this goes in the future.

ep 5 - Meera

And talking of unexpected things, it’s about to get emotional. It’s becoming a bit hard to not go full H.A.M at Bran as he becomes more and more impatient at the progress of his training under the Three Eyed Raven. He takes it upon himself to go back into a memory on his own. He finds himself before the Wierwood tree, facing an army of the dead. He walks through it, bewildered, before stopping to inspect the four Wights. Only they are also inspecting him. They can see him, and now so can the dead. The Night’s King grabs his arm and he wakes; according to the Three Eyed Raven, the Night’s King can now see where they are and will be coming for them. They can, and they do. Soon enough they are attacked from outside, but both the Raven and Bran are back in dreamland, this time it’s Winterfell again, and they are watching young Hodor. Bran is dragged from the fray as chaos ensues around them; both the Raven and the Children of the Forest perish (though not before Meera slays a Wight), and as they escape through a back door, Meera screams at Hodor to hold it shut. It appears Bran cannot wake, and instead of warging into Hodor outside of the dream, he wargs into young dream Hodor instead, controlling old Hodor through time via this memory. Young Hodor fits in a panic; he can hear Meera screeching “Hold the door!”, because as old Hodor is slowly being ripped apart by the dead. Young, dream Hodor’s fate is sealed, for “Hold the door” becomes “holdthedoor” becomes “Hodor”.

It’s such a sad yet heroic moment, and you can’t help but feel a sense of guilt for having misunderstood Hodor for all of these years. You hate Bran for being so selfish. You have a reinforced sense of admiration for George R.R Martin for having woven this twist into the plot from the beginning of this 20+ year journey. You can’t help but wonder how much of the current GoT world as we know it is really as it seems.

I’m too exhausted to ask questions this week, but let’s find solace in the fact that this is easily the best episode of this season (so far), and one of the best Game Of Thrones episodes in its history.

Ep 5 - Hodor 2

Watch The Throne: Game Of Thrones – “Book Of The Stranger” (Season 6 Episode 4)

As is always, MAJOR SPOILER! If you’ve yet to watch, take heed; it’s a goodun (you’ll need a cuppa after this one).

After years of misfortune and misery, it seems dear Sansa (Sophie Turner) is on a stroke of luck. After escaping Ramsay Bolton’s clutches by jumping from Winterfell with Theon/Reek and being found by Brienne (Gwendoline Christie) and Pod, she has now been delivered (finally) to one of the remaining members of her family after 239751 false starts. Seeing Sansa and Jon set eyes on each other for the first time since Season 1 Episode 2 (yes, really) is surprisingly emotional; she’s all grown up whilst he is dead-undead. If the laws of nature were paramount, then their reunion would never have happened and we would have false-start-part-239752 on our hands – but alas, thankfully, they are not, and deservedly so; that poor girls needs a break.

This is as happy a reprieve as Game Of Thrones would ever get, and of course, it never lasts for long. With Jon (Kit Harington) at a loss of what to do following his resurrection, hanging of his mutineers and abdication of the title of Lord Commander, Sansa’s appearance gives him, if not hope, then at least a purpose. She is hellbent on revenge against the Boltons and retrieving Winterfell and the wider North from their clutches. It’s somewhat unnerving, watching Sansa speak words so often uttered by the Lannisters, but in wanting to take back what is theirs it transpires that she has matured into a woman, and not a moment too soon. A letter is delivered to Jon outlining Ramsay’s intentions for the Starks, including the fate of their youngest sibling Rickon. Sansa’s loathing for Ramsay is palpable; rue the day she finally get to stab the foul bastard through the heart, eh?

Ep 4 - Jon Sansa

The Starks aren’t the only ones out to get Ramsay. Behold the return of Peter Baelish (Aidan Gillen), he of the Littlefinger, the master manipulator. He returns to glorified mouth-puppet Lord Robin Arryn, Lysa’s son (you know, Littlefinger pushed her through the moon door) and cousin of Sansa. He’s also grown at Branflake’s weed like pace, yet is still pathetically awful at everything and spoiled to the core. Those who babysit him are either too servant or dim to control the power he can so readily dish out, which of course leaves him a sitting duck for being twisted around Littlefingers, er, little finger. His powers are in full swing in this short appearance; in five minutes flat he succeeds in subliminally threatening Ser Royce via Robin and convincing him to aid Sansa’s plight up North by offering the support of the Arryn army. After all, they are cousins, but what is Littlefinger set to gain? Sansa’s hand? Winterfell itself? We shall see.

It seems that most people tend to have a negative reaction to the heinous Ramsay, and suitably, Theon (Alfie Allen) is still running. Or sailing, should I say, for he’s fast on his way to the Iron Islands. His sister, Yara (Gemma Whelan), isn’t pleased to see him after she risked herself and her reputation to rescue him from Ramsay’s cells. She presumes he is there to stake his claim for King of the Iron Islands, but he surprises her by offering his support for her own. Ramsay (Iwan Rheon) himself makes a brief appearance doing bad things as he always does, though thankfully not to Rickon. Unfortunately, a knife in the throat leaves Osha (Natalia Tena) not so lucky; you would think she’d have had a less trivial death given her importance in prior seasons, but hey ho. An unfortunate waste of an interesting character.

Ep 4 - Ramsay Osha

Down in Kingslanding and the High Sparrow (Jonathan Pryce) decides that it is high time to release Margaery Tyrell (Natalie Dormer) from her cell. It’s been a while; she is unaccustomed to the light, her hair is matted and she’s caked in her own shit but, as is expected for a woman of such conviction, her resolve is still strong. We can only assume that she has been released for a reason, as she has definitely not “Confess!”ed to her sins. What game is the High Sparrow playing? He recounts the Book of the Stranger and an anecdote about his own moment of awakening from a life of sin. He even allows Margaery to see her brother Loras , who is in a far worse state than she.

Whether Margaery knows it or not, it appears that the High Sparrow intends to have her repent by marching her through Kingslanding as he did with Cersei at the end of season 5. Surprisingly, Cersei (Lena Headley) has her back, not because she has grown fond of her daughter-in-law in her absence, but because allowing the queen to be humiliated as such could have dangerous repercussions for the monarchy. For once, she has both Olenna Tyrell (the wonderful Diana Rigg) and Kevan Lannister onside. They intend to intercept the walk of shame and storm the Sparrows, but having learnt of the High Sparrow’s plan via naive King Tommen, who vowed to keep it secret, we can only assume that in their acting as such, the Lannister-Tyrell coalition are walking in the exact direction that the High Sparrow would love them to. Various chips are being moved into place…

Ep 4 - Margery Sparrow

Over in Meereen and Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) has decided to bargain with the Masters of the other slave cities. Grey Worm and Missandei are not impressed, and rightly so for Tyrion, for all his misfortune, will never understand their experiences of being a slave. That said, in his giving the Masters a seven year buffer period to transition from slavery to liberation for the people of Slaver’s Bay, it may prove more sensible than Daenerys’ previous seize-and-deliver tactics, and may abate the Sons of the Harpy. But that is presuming that everyone sticks to their agreed terms of course, and when was the last time you’ve known a character in Game of Thrones to do that?

Elsewhere and hot on Daenerys’ heels, we finally rejoin with Jorah Mormont (Iain Glen) and Daario Narharis (Michiel Huisman). They’re staking out Vaes Dothrak, the Dothraki capital in an attempt to retrieve their Queen. Not that they’re getting along, with Daario intent on taking the piss out of the elder knight at every opportunity and Jorah’s increasingly stony arm weighing him down. Their initial attempt to breach the city isn’t very successful, but luckily for them Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) does the hard work for them. Riling up the Khals like a bunch of hissing snakes during her hearing may not seem like a smart move, but it doesn’t really matter when she proceeds to burn both them and the place down. The Dothraki tribes look on, bewildered, and even more so when Daenerys emerges from the flames Unburnt, like the Mother of Dragons she is.

Ep 4 -Dany

So, Daenerys has expanded her army. A storm is brewing (once again) in Kingslanding and unbeknownst to them, Sansa and Jon have the Knights of the Vale on the way. What a jam-packed episode.

What does this mean for Daenerys; is she somehow a magical exception to the laws of physics? Can she burn at all? Will the Lannister-Tyrell alliance pay off, or are they walking straight into the High Sparrow’s trap? Will Jon and Sansa encounter Littlefinger and the Arryn army, and if so, what are Littlefinger’s intentions?

The ante is upped,and the pieces are falling into place.

Watch The Throne: Game Of Thrones – “Oathbreaker” (Season 6 Episode 3)

MAJOR SPOILER. Watch it before you read it, etc, etc.

After the rip-roaring, mass murdering (like, more than usual) affair that was last week’s episode it is only fair that we have a bit of a break to recover, so thank you, Beinhoff, Weiss and co., for giving us the comparatively lull-some “Oathbreaker”, and letting us gather our wits to speculate wherever this is going next.

Not to say that nothing happened, of course it did, and as any viewer knows by now, when there is a slowing down of action it is normally putting all of the pieces into place to boggle our brains thereafter. Episode 3 was packed full of important information, so let us begin the breakdown.

Seconds in and we are met with the bewildered Jon Snow (Kit Harington), who is – unlike the rest of us – surprised to find that he is alive. He was betrayed by his men. The spiteful whelp troubled Oli finished the deal when he stabbed him through the heart. He knows he should be dead, everyone does, but like Davos (Liam Cunningham) has the grace to say, it is “completely fucking mad”. Even Melisandre (Carice Van Houten) is shocked at what she has done, but aside from inquiring as to his health the first thing she asks is what is on the other side. “Nothing” says Jon, and he knows all about nothing.

Ep 3 - Jon D M

His best friend Sam (John Bradley-West) (good ol’ Sam, we’ve missed you!) is completely non the wiser and the demise and resurrection of his best ol’ buddy ol’ pal. He’s too busy hurling his guts as he, Gilly (Hannah Murray) and Little Sam traverse the oceans blue. Gilly and Little Sam can’t accompany him to the male-only Citadel, so he intends to drop them off at his homeland instead. We all know how emotionally damaged Sam was thanks to his austere father, but as he digresses, his mother is a “kind woman”. We’ll take his word for now.

Further south, in Ramsay’s (Iwan Rheon) Winterfell of Misery and Woe, we find the wretched bastard conversing with the Umbers. They refuse to kneel before him but instead offer a gift of goodwill. No, it’s not Ramsay’s ideal of a red haired woman, but instead a sibling of one such girl. The hoods come off and there we find a grimy Rickon (Art Parkinson) and a twitching Osha (Natalaia Tena). Remember him? Branflake sent them away to stay safe, except with most instances of best intention, they rarely pan out, do they? And worse, the Umber place Shaggydog’s severed head on the table as proof of Rickon’s identity. Poor Shaggydog. Poor Rickon.

Ep 3 - Tower Of Joy

And talking of Branflake (Isaac Hempstead-Wright), he is, once again, walking through a memory. This time it’s an important one, the much mythologised Tower of Joy scene. Not familiar? Well, long story short, a young Ned and his guard go to retrieve his sister Lyanna who has been kidnapped by crown prince Rhaegar Targaryan. Lyanna was betrothed to Robert Baratheon, which is what spurred Robert’s Rebellion against the Mad King Aerys Targaryan. It’s all a bit complicated. At this point in time, Aerys is dead (already stabbed by Jamie Lannister – the Kingslayer), but the Targaryan guard are still protecting Lyanna’s tower – even though Rhaegar isn’t there. If you’re unfamiliar with R+L+J then watch this video at your own peril, but the fact that we are progressing down this path may mean that a big reveal could be occurring sooner than we think. Anyway, the Stark and Targaryan guards fight, and it’s an impressive one. We see Ser Arthur Dayne – the Sword of the Morning – prove why his one of the most revered swordsman to ever exist. It’s breakneck, breathtaking stuff, until he is stabbed through the throat from behind by Howland Reed who is, coincidentally (definitely not) Jojan and Meera’s father, both of whom accompanied Bran to the Three Eyed Raven. We need a reveal. We need an unravelling. We need rewarding for being such patient fans!

Ep 3 - Arya

On Braavos shores and Arya (Maisie Williams), the far-flung Stark sister, is still trying to convince everyone that a girl is “no-one”. Apparently, this week she is actually getting somewhere.Her blind stick fighting has improved for starters, to the extent where you almost begin to think that she will succeed at life as a blind sleuth (even if she does omit quite a few names from her kill list). Jaqen rewards her progress by giving her her sight back. What is a girl to do next?

Over in the warmer lands and Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) has been delivered to the Vaes Dothrak, and the widowed wives. Apparntly, due to her pursuing life as a free woman after the death of Khal Drogo, she could face a fate worse than lifetime imprisonment. Time will tell, but in her absence in Meereen, Varys (Conleth Hill) is back to doing what Varys does best – spying and finding out everything he can about anyone that he can use to his advantage. He blackmails a female aide of the Sons of the Harpy into telling him who exactly is funding them. Turns out that we have met them before, for they are the Masters of the other slave cities that Dany had previously liberated, and they’re angry at the prospect of their culture being erased. Being a naive good doer doesn’t necessarily pay, it seems.

Ep 3 -Dany

Back in Kingslanding and Qyburn is fancying himself as he new Varys. He’s training his “little birds” to do his bidding in return for sweets, if only every aspect of life was so easily played, eh? Why? Because Cersei (Lena Headley) wants to hear everything, especially if enemies intend on making Lannister losses their gains (or, if someone titters at a beggar throwing human shit at the humiliated Queen Mother). They intend to exercise their will by inviting themselves to the Small Council (yay for Olenna!) who upon their sitting down, stand up and walk out. It must be hard to be so unpopular in your own royal household. Elsewhere and Tommen (Dean-Charles Chapman) finally grabs his gonads and demands the High Sparrow allow Cersei to see Myrcella’s resting place. Except that doesn’t last for long, with the calm and charismatic Sparrow practically convincing the impressionable young king that parading his mother through the streets was the right thing to do. What’s a boy to do, when he has two conflicting people whispering in his ears?

We are reminded throughout the episode that crown and Gods sit side by side, and with Tormund informing Jon that the wildlings and Night’s Watchmen think he is a God, it is apt that he should exercise his will in hanging the four traitors who stabbed him. Some beg for valour, others forgiveness. Alliser Thorne says he would do it again, whilst Olly says nothing at all. It is evidently playing on Jon’s mind, as he cuts the rope. We watch them swing and twitch until their faces turn blue, and when their legs fall still he remove his furs and hands them on. He is no longer Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, for as far as he is concerned, in his death, his watch has ended.

Technically, his vows are unbroken, but what is he to do now? Will Jon go to find Sansa, only to find Rickon instead? Will the wildlings go with him? Never mind that, where are Daenerys’ dragons? Are they celebrating with an extended barbecue? And what is occurring in Dorne?

Onto the next, for a new watch has begun.

Watch The Throne: Game Of Thrones – “Home” (Season 6 Episode 2)


Well, ladies and gents, there we have it; after almost a year of fervent speculation, the speculation that we speculated has become an actuality. Jon Snow is risen from the dead, and Kit Harington is relieved to finally be able to talk about it. He’s sorry about lying to everyone for a year (he really is) and for a series whose basis is in lies and deceit, in “Home” we find a surprisingly honest and upfront episode.

This instalment opens with everyone’s favourite Branflake (Isaac Hempstead-Wright). Remember him? It’s only been more than a season since you saw him last. He’s no longer a fragile “flake” it seems, he’s cut his hair and he’s grown some – oh, and he’s taking a leisurely stroll down memory lane with a man who appears to be the Three-Eyed Raven. But if it is a memory, then who’s memory is it? It’s certainly not Bran’s, as it is clearly from far before he was a twinkle in his father’s eye. A young Ned and Benjen spar in the yard before their sister Lyanna gallops in on horseback. They invite a young Hodor – one who can talk and whose real name is Willas (what happened?) –  to practise with them. Bran is visibly excited at being showed these happier times, but like anything pleasant in this show, it doesn’t last for long. He opens his eyes to find himself back on the floor, the Raven in his nest and Hodor sitting in the corner. Meera is getting restless with all of the waiting (let’s assume its been at least a year, given Bran’s growing like a weed), but the Child of the Forest assures her that Bran will need her .

Ep 2 -Branflake

His sister, Sansa (Sophie Turner) is also in the snow with her own limited company, and as she and Brienne (Gwendoline Christie) discuss what happened to her at Winterfell, it is apparent the shadow of Ramsay’s cruelty is shallowly buried in her mind. Theon (Alfie Allen) is also agitated (and so would we be, if we were watching Pod try to start a fire bad taste joke central), so much so that he decides to leave for the Iron Islands, breaking Sansa’s heart in the process. He believes that, should he go to Castle Black, that Jon will kill him for treason and for “murdering” Bran and Rickon, and even though Sansa reassures him that she would convince Jon otherwise, Theon cannot stay.

As it transpires, there is tension in the Iron Islands; his sister Yara and his father Balon Greyjoy argue over Balon’s desire to invade the mainland. The Greyjoy’s are sea folk with no strength onshore, but like a blinkered steed Balon cannot accept sense. Yara reminds her father that the last time they tried such, two of his sons died and Theon was taken as Ned Stark’s ward. In a rage, he exits the tower – only to find a shadowy figure blocking the exit to the ricketiest bridge to ever exist. It’s Balon’s younger brother, Euron, and he’s decided its time for him to try his hand at ruling the Isles – but not before he tries his hand at throwing Balon off the bridge. It’s wobbly and there’s a vicious storm. It looks like an accident: it’s fine. Euron evaporates into the mist and the Iron Born release their dead king to the waves to be reclaimed as fish food. Yara states her intention to be crowned the first Queen of the Iron Islands but it is to be determined by kings-moot, and of course, Euron will have other ideas.

Ep 2 - Septon Jamie

Down in Kingslanding, and we’ve another funeral and Jamie (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) and the High Sparrow (Jonathan Pryce) throw threats around Myrcella’s body. On her way to say goodbye to her daughter, Cersei (Lena Headley) finds her way blocked by a sheepish looking Kingsguard (suitably so, given the size of her zombie bodyguard, formerly known as The Mountain). Apparently the King want to keep her safe by cooping her up in her tower, but Tommen (Dean-Charles Chapman)  later reveals to Jamie that Cersei won’t be allowed to enter the Sept due to her sins. He expresses guilt over not doing enough to protect both his mother and his wife Margery from the will of the High Sparrow, and asks for Cersei’s forgiveness and guidance. The Cersei of a few seasons past would have relished this opportunity to use her son as a puppet, but is she the same woman now?

Over in Meereen and the talk is of dragons. The freer the dragon, the happier and healthier (who would’ve guessed), and Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) reminds Varys (Conleth Hill) that the last Targaryen dragons were no bigger than cats due to their years in captivity. So naturally they head downstairs to unshackle the beasts; Tyrion is greeted by a lovely view into a dragon’s maw but reasons that their intelligence will prevent them from making him into a barbecued snack. His hunch proves true and Viserion and Rhaegel are free – but to what end?

There’s a lot of savage beasts doing the rounds at the moment and none more so than Ramsay Bolton (Iwan Rheon). As always, Ramsay’s bloodlust is at the front of his brain when declares he wants to attack Castle Black, but Roose (Michael McElhatton) shoots him down stating that “If you act like a mad dog, then you will be treated like one: taken out back and slaughtered for pig feed”. Ramsay handles the burn seemingly well; with the Karstark’s on board they’d have a large enough army, he claims, but before Roose can respond the Maester dashes in to declare that Lady Walda has given birth – to a boy. “Don’t worry,” says Roose to Ramsay, “You’ll always be my first born.” They embrace…

And then Ramsay stabs Roose in the gut.

That afternoon Ramsay finds Walda and his half-brother in the yard; he offers to escort her to Roose, and leads her to the kennels. She begs for him to let she and her newborn go to her homeland, but this is Ramsay, and Ramsay doesn’t like loose ends. The fear in her screams leave you feeling sick.

Ep 2 - MeliJon

It’s death and brash decisions all around, it seems.

Following a stand off with the power hungry Alliser Thorne and his cronies that is dissolved quickly thanks to help from the Wildlings, Davos (Liam Cunningham) asks Melisandre (necklace back in place) if there is any way of resurrecting Jon. He admits that he is not a religious man, but that she is the one who made him believe in miracles. His words seems to shake Melisandre (Carice Van Houten) from her crises of faith and she agrees to try; after all, she knows it is possible thanks to her witnessing Thoros of Myr reviving Beric Dondarrion. She cleans his wounds, cuts his hair (what!?) and chants – to no avail. One by one they leave the room, with only Ghost staying by Jon’s side. Silence. Ghost’s nose twitches. The camera zooms in and –


Jon Snow opens his eyes, and yes, he’s alive.

It is claimed that this is to be Jon’s biggest season yet, but to what extent? Will his parentage be revealed? Will he have a claim to the Iron Throne? If he is released from his Night’s Watch vows, will he go to reclaim the North and Winterfell (and finish off Ramsay, the spiteful turd)? 

Who can say, we can only wait. If only we could see it in the flames, eh?